A girl and her hearse.

Every now and then I like to profile someone with a far more interesting life than my own.

Death Cab for Cutie
By James Johnson

Morgan Anderson, 22, isn’t exactly the girl next door (unless of course, you‘re the Adams family). Growing up, while other girls were memorizing the dance steps from the latest Britney Spears video, Anderson found her role model in 1950s pin-up model Bettie Paige, and her musical beat in rockabilly. But it is Anderson’s latest eccentricity that has garnered her the most attention: her new hearse.

Love at First Sight
Anderson had bought the 1989 Cadillac hearse from a retired court magistrate, who like Anderson, was a car fanatic, and a fan of the macabre.
“I’d always told the previous owner that I was going to buy that hearse from him one day,” Anderson said. “I couldn’t tell you exactly why I wanted to buy it, but I just fell in love with it.”
That day came sooner than Anderson thought, when last January her original car, a Buick, was totaled in an accident. Upon hearing the news, the original owner called her to tell her he was now ready to give the hearse a new owner.
“The hearse wasn’t for sale,” Anderson added. “He only sold it because he knew how much I wanted it.”
Anderson chose not to disclose the amount she paid, but believes it was worth every dime.

Bad Vibes
Unfortunately, not everyone Anderson has encountered has shared her love of life’s final ride. In the short time that she has owned the vehicle Anderson said she’s been stared at, made fun of and accused of Satan worship and necrophilia.
“It was weird the first week. You could almost say that it was a life changing experience. Everywhere I went, every drive through, every stop light - everywhere - it was just nonstop attention.” Anderson said. “But not all of it has been positive. The worst experience I had was at the Wendy’s. A very rude woman at the drive through put her whole body out the window, pointed, laughed and made fun of me right in front of a customer.”
You know things are bad when even a Wendy’s employee is looking down on you.
In another incident , Anderson was asked by a woman if she simply spent her time waiting in front of nursing homes, waiting for someone to die.
“That was just an example of some of the ignorance I’ve run into,” Anderson said.

Awkward Much?
When not being chased by angry villagers, or praised by jealous rockers, Anderson has discovered a discomforting drawback to her ride of choice.
“Sometimes I’ll run into a funeral march and I’ll get the weirdest looks,” Anderson said. “Like, I’ll be smoking a cigarette and rockin’ out, and suddenly feel really out of place. It can get weird out there.”

Trunk Room
The contents of Anderson’s hearse has inspired the imaginations of some pretty sick puppies (myself included), below are the top five most popular guesses Anderson has encountered.

1.) Dead bodies. still has that new carcass smell.

2.) Casket. Voted best place ever to hide a dead body in Mafia Monthly.

3.) A bed. Wink, wink, hint, hint, nudge, nudge.

4.) band equipment.

5.) A smaller hearse, with an even smaller hearse inside of it, and inside that hearse exists a far smaller hearse and … right well, you get the picture. This one was my guess.